


stupid. so stupid.

by Netsunii (orphan_account)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: 2nd chapter is supposed to be mike's pov, Angst, Episode: s03e03 The Case of the Missing Lifeguard, Gay Mike Wheeler, Gay Will Byers, M/M, Sad Will Byers, also lucas is like just there thirdwheeling or something, coming out i guess?, gotta love me some of that angst amirite, i wanted to practice writing with v v little dialogue pls be nice, im so sorry will azswuief, sorry lucas, tags are weird sorry, yeah this is like will's perspective of it or something idk, yknow that sad moment when will destroys castle byers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-01-27 03:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21385000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Netsunii
Summary: He whispered words to himself, insulting himself at how foolish he had been to trust Mike, at how foolish he had been to trust someone who wasclearlyheterosexual to not be disgusted at aqueerlike him.(will's perspective as he biked away from the wheeler garage, all the way to the destruction of castle byers.)- - -But then, as time went on, she grew more feminine, looking less like a boy. And as El grew into her own person, it became harder to ignore the voice in his head, yelling at him to drop everything, look Will Byers into thosesweetdoe eyes of his and kiss him right on those pretty lips. He always imagined how they tasted, if they would be as sweet as he was.God, he wassucha useless homosexual.(mike wheeler is suddenly reminded of his homosexuality while in the presence of will byers.)
Relationships: Will Byers & Mike Wheeler, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 12
Kudos: 218





	1. he really was stupid, wasn't he?

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first work in a while, so feel free to leave me some criticism in the comments cause i want to see what i can improve on. sorry it isn't very long, i kind of rushed it?
> 
> i was also thinking of writing a second chapter where we get to see what happens when mike and lucas find him afterwards, like what happens during that period of time when they care for will. probably some potential byler? let me know.
> 
> update: second chapter is up!!!

_ "It's not my fault you don't like girls!" _

The rain beat down on his fleeing form, drowning out the mixture of sobs and pants that emerged from his blue-lipped mouth. He shivered, feeling as if the rain contributed to the way that he felt heavier and heavier with every single cycle that he did. His bike continued to wobble, almost tipping over every time he lifted one of his hands to wipe away at the neverending stream of tears that poured out of his hazel eyes. He felt as if he were underwater; dazed and unable to breathe, unable to accept reality as it slapped him in the face.

There seemed to be no end to the rain blocking his path. His vision was continuously blurred with rainwater and teardrops, no matter how much wiping he did. Nevertheless, he pressed on. He was desperate to escape from the humiliation and fear that had been thrown at him a few minutes ago. 

Anything to escape Mike.

He _trusted_ him, called him his best friend. He was the one who always stood up for him whenever the bullies tormented him, comforted him when his father left, never gave up hope on finding him even when the others had. He was always at his side, trusting him, even when he did not trust himself. He encouraged him, gave him a reason to keep pushing. He was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Until Mike had taken that trust and thrown it right back at his face.

He  _ knew _ that his sexuality was a sensitive topic,  _ knew _ that he didn't like it when he was referred to as a queer. Of all the people that wound up believing the bullies, he seemed the least to doubt his sexuality, and yet he did.

At that moment, he had gone from being his best friend to his thoughts of self-hatred. He had become his bullies. 

He had become the insults that his father spat at him.

After what felt like ages, his house had entered his sight, although barely, as his tears blinded him. He wasted no time and rushed off of his bike, nearly tripping over the thing as it crashed to the wet grass. He made his way over to their front door and lifted a shaking, wet hand to turn the doorknob. He gripped at the metallic sphere and nearly turned it, but hesitated. 

Although home seemed to be the best option, he wasn't up to facing his mother at the moment, as selfish as it seemed. He didn't want her to worry even more, and he most certainly didn't want her to coddle him again like she did before. His hand slipped away, leaving little droplets of water onto the knob. He backed away from the house, before turning and sprinting off into the large forest, already knowing his next destination. 

Mud splashed underneath his shoes, dirtying them completely. His socks were most likely wet and stained beyond their pristine, white look, but he couldn't find it in himself to care as his vision blurred once again with tears. He passed row after row of trees, both tall and short, along with a few stumps and some wildlife, following the path that was all too familiar to him. After a few minutes of simply running and occasionally slipping without stopping, he faced the very place that held his whispered secrets and memories.  _ Castle Byers _ , the paint on the drenched wood read.

He dropped to his knees and crawled inside, wincing as his head hit the hammered logs that made up the roof. He hadn't visited Castle Byers very much since the demogorgon incident; he didn't want to remind himself about one of the most painful weeks of his life. He had laid on the very same mattress, with only his clothing and a tattered blanket to provide insulation. It didn't do much, especially with the way that his stomach had twisted, begging for food. His throat had been rough, grating his vocal chords as he continued to sing with a croaky voice in order to provide himself some sort of comfort, or occasionally, some hope that someone, _anyone_ would come rescue him from that hellish place.

He shuddered, blinking rapidly to snap himself out of his reverie. He shook his head for extra measure, spraying water droplets everywhere as if he were Chester. God, he missed Chester. The large dog always knew how to bring a smile to Will's face in even the most miserable of times.

His eyes traveled along the many photos and drawings that littered the walls of Castle Byers. He drew that one when he had been seven; that picture had been his first day of middle school; that drawing had been his first attempt at drawing the original Party; that picture had been his first Halloween...

He blinked at a comic book that showed up in his vision. He craned his neck to take a look at it's cover; it was the X-Men volume 134. Dustin had mentioned that technically, he had won their little bet on the day of his disappearance, and gifted it to him, despite his many protests. He snatched it up from the floor and brought it closer to him, flipping through its pages. Once, he had thought the story was exciting, especially with its horror scenes. Now, it was incredibly boring, paling in comparison to some of the things he had experienced.

He huffed and set it aside, hoping to find something else that would entertain him, or at least bring his mood up, if only a bit. A nagging voice at the back of his head told him that there was no way to recover from the blatant betrayal of his best friend's words, but he ignored it as best he could. The comic books he had in the small structure were boring, maybe he could find some sort of drawing that would help him reminisce in order to forget.

He sucked in a sharp breath once his eyes landed onto the familiar picture of the original Party in their Ghostbusters costumes. It had been the day when the Mind Flayer was sighted, when they had gone trick or treating with Max and fattened themselves up with candy.

It had also been the day when Mike had promised him to go crazy together.

He didn't understand what had happened to his promise. They had promised to always be together no matter what happened, didn't they? Mike had seemed  _ so sincere, so sure _ when he had promised him that he wasn’t alone. Apparently, that was nothing to him, seeing as he had replaced him with that girl, Eleven.  He had tried not to resent her, he really did, but it was hard to when she had taken Mike away from him. He knew it was immature and ungrateful of him to hate the girl that had single-handedly saved his life and signaled to his mom and brother that he was alive, but yet he continued to slowly hate her with each passing interaction that she had with Mike.

Tears began to roll down his face for what seemed like the tenth time that day as he whispered words to himself, insulting himself at how foolish he had been to trust Mike, at how foolish he had been to trust someone who was  _ clearly  _ heterosexual to not be disgusted at a  _ queer  _ like him.

"Stupid. So  _ stupid _ ."

He let go of the photo frame and watched as it landed onto his mattress. The sorrow he had felt slowly built up into something uglier; rage. He whipped his head around to look at the far corner of Castle Byers, where the baseball bat his father had given him propped up against the wall. He had sworn not to use it ever again after that traumatising day, unless he really needed to. He disregarded his self-oath, reaching over and grabbing at the base of the bat. He gripped it as hard as he could, his pale knuckles turning white as he made his way out of Castle Byers, staining his knees with mud as well as he crawled out.

Anger blinded him as he was reminded of all the times that he had been pushed aside, treated as a minority, ignored in favor of something deemed "more important" by a person. He raised the bat and brought it down onto the roof of Castle Byers, before repeating the action again and again as it brought him some sort of twisted relief. Curses flowed out of his lips, words that he usually would never use unless he was incredibly upset. He continued, teeth gritting as he bashed at what he had deemed his childhood, tears flowing down his cheeks.

He dropped the bat as he fell to the muddy ground, weeping. Castle Byers lay in ruins in front of him, the many memories inside most likely destroyed or damaged. Ugly gasps came out of his mouth as he shut his eyes tight, attempting to stop the flow of tears. He wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to keep the cold away. The rain felt heavier than ever, leaving him more miserable than he was before as it hit his shaking form. He heard nothing but the combined ringing of his ears and the muffled rainwater.

_ He really was stupid, wasn't he?  _


	2. crazy together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But then, as time went on, she grew more feminine, looking less like a boy. And as El grew into her own person, it became harder to ignore the voice in his head, yelling at him to drop everything, look Will Byers into those sweet doe eyes of his and kiss him right on those pretty lips. He always imagined how they tasted, if they would be as sweet as he was.
> 
> God, he was such a useless homosexual. 
> 
> (mike wheeler is suddenly reminded of his homosexuality while in the presence of will byers.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaah! i'm so sorry for the long wait! i was really overwhelmed with the positive feedback akskkdkd over 450 hits????? what 
> 
> anyways, i spent time actually writing an outline for this lol i'm v bad at writing outlines so it took me a while but!!! i think i got it!!! i tried to make this chapter longer as an apology for the long wait i'm sorry if it isn't good ;_; i was trying to be detailed-ish but i kinda flopped in that near the end aka the whole dialogue part
> 
> i wanted to see if i could combine dialogue and descriptive writing but that didn't work out skksksk sorry
> 
> i hope you enjoy!
> 
> update: i added some minor things to this chapter! feel free to re-read or not, i don't mind ^^

He was sitting in the middle of an unforgiving thunderstorm, his lower legs and knees stained with mud, when he felt it. It started out as an itch, and every time it happened, he hoped to God that it would've just been some weird feeling on his skin and he could just scratch it and go on his merry way.

Unfortunately, like the last few times he had felt it, it had not been an itch.

He felt his stomach slowly plummet as it slowly crawled up his neck, freezing him up and making his right hand move up to touch his nape, as if he was some robot following a line of code. His breath hitched as he felt dread take over his shivering form, terrified of what the feeling meant.

The rain had become background noise to him as he slowly stood up and turned, fingers still resting against the back of his neck. The ringing in his ears kept increasing in volume, rendering all sound around him silent as he stared off into space, his mind descending into unease and panic.

He stood stock-still, unaware of his shivering and the footsteps growing louder behind him. A wet hand gripped at his drenched shoulder.

_"Will!"_

He snapped out of his trance, the sound of the rain slamming in his ears and grounding him back into reality. Goosebumps rose out of his skin; not from cold, but of fear. He let out a gasp as he whirled around to assess the danger that had just presented itself to him.

Except, it wasn't danger. It was Mike and Lucas. 

"Will, what happened, are you okay?" Mike asked, urgency clear in his voice as he held his shoulder. He didn't have the heart to feel angry at Mike for what he had done a while ago, they had bigger things to worry about now.

He swallowed as he looked at both of them, eventually settling onto Mike. His mouth moved on autopilot, blurting out what he had just confirmed himself before they appeared.

_"He's back."_

* * *

Mike swallowed as he led Will to the Byers' home, having latched onto him immediately after he had confirmed that the Mind Flayer was back to fuck everything up. His hand gripped at Will's shaking arm, steadying him as Mike opened the door for him.

Fuck, he was an idiot. A complete idiot. 

He had up and abandoned Will for someone he wasn't even sure he liked anymore. El was great, she was amazing - but he just didn't feel anything special for her. To him, she was just a friend, nothing more. He thought it would work, dating someone who looked like a boy. At first, he could ignore the nagging voice in his head, reminding him that she wasn't a boy, how she wasn't Will.

But then, as time went on, she grew more feminine, looking less like a boy. And as El grew into her own person, it became harder to ignore the voice in his head, yelling at him to drop everything, look Will Byers into those _sweet_ doe eyes of his and kiss him right on those pretty lips. He always imagined how they tasted, if they would be as sweet as he was.

God, he was _such_ a useless homosexual. 

Will was his top priority now, El could wait. His best friend was in danger, and it would do him no good to mope about a relationship he wasn't even happy with now.

After Will had insisted on leaving his shoes outside so as to not dirty the floor, Mike led him to the couch and sat him down gently. He whirled around to face Lucas, immediately taking charge. "Lucas, go get Will some better clothes. I don't want him to catch a cold," he instructed. Lucas looked as if he were about to complain, but agreed anyways and disappeared off into Will's room.

Mike sighed and looked back at Will. He seemed worried; Mike assumed that it was because of the whole Mind Flayer situation. "I'll be right back," he whispered softly to Will. The aforementioned boy barely nodded, jerking his head ever-so-slightly to indicate that he would be fine if Mike left temporarily. Mike straightened up from his arched position and made his way to the bathroom, seeking something to help Will with the rainwater.

He opened the door and stepped inside. As expected, it was clean, probably courtesy of Mrs Byers. Not quite pristine, but not quite dirty, either. Mike headed straight for the towel rack and picked the one that looked cleanest and fluffiest. His eye caught sight of the tag as he took it off of the rack; scrawled onto the clear side with marker that was slightly fading, was the nickname Jon.

Mike cringed - he suspected that this was the least used towel as Jonathan sometimes shared towels with Nancy, as evidenced by the small, non-Nancy hairs he had found on her towel. He had been brushing his teeth and was washing up when he realised his towel was nowhere to be found, probably tumbling in the dryer. Unwilling to use his shirt to wipe off the water coating his mouth and chin, he laid eyes on Nancy's peach pink towel and thought, _Eh, why not._

He vowed _never_ to use another person's towel again.

Mike shook his head - there was no time to remember past gross moments, Will was_ drenched_ and _cold_, and _he doesn't like the cold_ \- and stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He returned to Will and awkwardly handed him a towel. Will looked surprised, but accepted it anyways, mumbling his gratitude as he began to viciously wipe at his hair.

Mike sat down next to him and tried to watch as discreetly as he could. He almost forgot how to breathe when Will finished_ (his hair is so fluffy he's so cute)_ and draped the towel over his shoulders to catch any remaining raindrops.

It was quiet, awkward for a few moments. The only sounds present were the muffled raindrops outside, the muffled rummaging from Lucas on the inside, and the occasional shuffling of feet from both Mike and Will. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Mike opened up his mouth to speak. 

"I-"

His mouth shut tightly after it appeared that Will had been thinking the same thing. "You-you can, um, go first." Will shook his head. "No, no, it's fine, go ahead." Mike swallowed, suffocating in the tense atmosphere. His palms grew sweaty as he spoke his mind, averting his _totally-actually-not-discreet_-gaze from Will's face.

"Will, I-I wanted to...apologize." Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Will perking up. Maybe this situation would turn out much better than Mike thought it would. Hope bloomed in his chest as he continued. "I shouldn't have said that to you. You were just trying to have fun and-and I was just so caught up with El that I wasn't thinking about you. I'm sorry." To his dismay, Will seemed to deflate after the word fun. Did he mess up? 

Will let out a small sigh, so quiet that Mike almost missed it. _Shit,_ he seemed as if he was disappointed. "It's-it's okay, Mike." He flashed a weak smile at Mike, before averting eye contact. _Huh._ "I forgive you, um, I guess. Thanks for apologizing."

Mike frowned. Averted eyes, stammering and fidgeting - It was obvious that Will was lying. _Why is he lying?_

"You're still upset about something." He said, turning his body towards Will. Will stiffened. "I don't-I don't know what you're talking about." Mike sighed, scratching at his cheek. "I can tell that something is wrong. For starters, you won't look at me." He pointed out, eyebrows raised in doubt. Will hunched over in embarrassment, red beginning to bloom on his cheeks. "Come on, Will. I can obviously tell if something is wrong. You can tell me." He reassured the smaller boy. Will exhaled. 

"I really don't-" "Will, _please._" Mike pleaded. Will fell silent. 

The taller boy was patient; most of the time, it took Will quite a bit to admit that something was wrong. Finally, Will sighed in defeat, wringing his hands. "_Fine,_ you got me. It's just, it's..._stupid_." Mike frowned. Will was_ just_ as valid as the others - his feelings were never stupid. He needed to help him be less critical on himself. "Obviously, it _isn't_ if you're this upset about it." He shot back.

Will let out a shaky laugh, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. Mike watched him, concerned. He bit his lip, trying to guess what made Will so upset. Mike crossed and uncrossed his legs subconsciously. "Was it something I said?" He asked Will, silently hoping that this wasn't the case. Judging by the way that he tensed, Mike guessed that he was right. He exhaled, slowly beginning to stress out.

The question now was, _what did he say?_ He wracked his brain for answers, but came up short. That wasn't right, maybe he missed something-

_"It's not my fault you don't like girls!"_

Oh.

_Oh._

_God damn it,_ he messed up more than he thought.

"Fuck, Will, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't realize, I just-I wasn't thinking, it just came out of my mouth-" His mouth spilled out a plethora of words as he rushed to apologize to his best friend. His hands made erratic motions, indicating his panic.

"Mike?"

_Fuck,_ he thought, clamping his mouth shut as he raised his head and found himself face-to-face with Will, looking straight into his eyes. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, he hates me now. He doesn't want to be friends anymore, he's gonna leave-_

"...Yeah?" He answered, voice pathetically small as he silently freaked out.

"I'm gay."

Mike's mouth dropped in an O. _That...made a lot of sense, actually. _

Without thinking, Mike blurted out, "Me too!" and immediately slapped his hand over his mouth. _What the fuck, what-why did I say that?_

Will raised his eyebrows in surprise. _Fuck, he's onto me and how gay I am for him. _Mike began to freak out. To his surprise, Will let out a laugh and, without skipping a beat, reached for Mike's hand, grabbing it and intertwining their fingers. Mike felt his face burn up as Will squeezed his hand comfortingly.

In an attempt to hide his probably-steaming face, he pulled Will in for a _totally platonic, non-romantic_ hug. To his relief, Will only sat still for a few seconds before quickly reciprocating the hug. Mike buried his face into Will's shoulder, inhaling the scent.

His shirt obviously smelt of murky rain, but there was also the scent of the woods, and of course, there was the faint, but familiar whiff of Will himself in there. They stayed in that position for a bit, enjoying each other's company, as well as comforting the other on them not being alone. They were together in this; they were _always_ together in this.

_They were crazy together after all, right?_

To Mike's disappointment, Will pulled away, forcing Mike to do so as well so he wouldn't have looked like some sort of creep. Will looked up at Mike, smiling up at him as he continued to hold onto his arms. Mike, in turn, stared back down at Will like an idiot, face still burning bright like before. Will was so close, Mike could see the little stars twinkling in his hazel eyes. His little button nose, his cute moles,_ his peachy lips..._

Mike swallowed. He remembered hearing his sister talk about something like this.

_"Mike, see, one day you'll be able to be with the one you love. The only thing is, you'll have to wait until the right moment."_

Although disinterested at the time, he had been just a tad bit curious and asked her how he would know what the right moment was.

_"You'll just know, Mike. And when the time comes, you need to seize the opportunity before it goes by. Now or never, is what I like to call it."_

_Now or never. _

Mike shut his eyes, leaned forward, and gave Will a quick peck on his lips. It was barely enough to ignite anything into anyone, but to Mike, it felt as if his body was on fire. He jerked back almost immediately, now completely certain that steam was rising out of his ears, his face probably a blushing mess.

Will's eyes were wide, almost as if he were uncomfortable. Mike slowly began to worry himself to death - should he have asked first? However, before he could run away, pack all of his stuff, move to some place like _Derry_ and change his name to some weird name like _Richie,_ Will grinned and tightened his grip on Mike's forearms, preventing Mike from escaping. His face was almost as red as Mike's. _(Yeah, right - Mike's face was probably much more redder.)_ Will wrapped his arms around the taller boy's neck and, without hesitation, pressed a kiss to Mike's lips, clearly more confident than the tomato-faced boy he was kissing.

Mike's eyes mirrored Will's earlier; comically wide as he was unable to comprehend the fact that Will was kissing him back. 

_Wait._

_Holy shit,_ Will Byers was kissing him. 

_Oh my God, this is one of the best days of my life._

Mike shut his eyes and mirrored Will's actions, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer to him. Will hummed into the kiss, tangling his fingers into Mike's curls.

The kiss was comforting, l_oving._ It was sweet, with a tinge of spice. It was chaste, yet passionate. It wasn't sloppy, but it wasn't meticulous, either. It was ten years of endless pining and affectionate gestures all packed into one single kiss. 

It was _balance._ They had finally found balance, in themselves and in each other. 

They separated after a while, gasping for air. They moved as a whole, pressing their foreheads against each other's and giggling like the children they really were. It was _extremely _sappy, Mike would admit, but in that moment he couldn't bring himself to care. This felt like a dream, and it didn't feel real, and yet here they were, sharing chaste kisses and sweet words among themselves as they held hands.

Unfortunately, the moment was cut short, as they heard rapidly approaching footsteps. They jumped back, blushing madly as they pretended that they were not just kissing and giggling to each other a few seconds ago. Lucas entered the living room, holding a small bundle of clothes in his arms. He held up the different clothing items, revealing that they were a long sleeved shirt and shorts. His facial expression clearly showed that he was displeased.

"Dude," he started, looking over at Will. "you need more pants. I swear, the only thing I found in your closet was shorts." Will looked sheepish, his cheeks still coated in a pretty shade of cherry red. "Ah, yeah, um. I kind of grew out of my pants, but I didn't want to bother my mom about it. It was summer anyways, so I thought I'd just ask her about it when I got cold. I didn't really think about rainy days..." He trailed off, realizing his error.

Mike instantly bookmarked the information somewhere in his brain for later, wondering if he could get away with lending Will some of his clothes. His mind instantly wandered to lending Will one of his sweaters, and his face erupted into another blush. _Geez,_ Mike needed to stop blushing once every few seconds - he was pretty sure that otherwise, he'd just pass out on the floor.

Will gratefully took the clothes from Lucas and headed off into his room to change. Lucas sat down next to Mike, taking Will's place. They sat in awkward silence for a few moments, occasionally clearing their throats and shifting in place.

After a few painful minutes of silence, Lucas spoke up.

"So, Will, huh?"

Mike's face instantly lit up like a firecracker. He began to sputter incoherent excuses. "We weren't- I don't- _What are you-_" Lucas cut him off with his laughter as he wiped tears away from his eyes. "I'm _kidding!"_ He cackled. Eventually, he calmed down, smiling at Mike's exasperated expression. "You're such an_ asshole._" Mike snorted, swiping at Lucas' cap. The aforementioned boy caught the cap as it fell down, rolling his eyes at the dramatic Wheeler as he positioned the hat back onto his head.

"But, in all seriousness," Lucas said, grinning at Mike and elbowing him playfully. "I'm happy that you finally figured it out with him. It was pretty painful, watching you two give each other heart eyes for so long." Mike rolled his eyes, but returned the smile and expressed his gratitude at Lucas not being disgusted by their relationship.

Will soon arrived, fully changed and minus the towel, smiling weakly at the both of them. Mike was suddenly hit with a reminder of the situation at hand._ Damn._ He completely forgot that the interdimensional monster that possessed Will was back. He sighed, his mood instantly dampening. Mike stood up. "Alright, let's get to my house and see if we can round the rest of the Party up for this thing." 

_It was time to get down to business._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to defeat, the huns~~~
> 
> also richie stans don't @ me richie isn't a weird name please don't murder me skksksks it's for satire-
> 
> it's done! sorry again if it sucked,,,,
> 
> i think that's it for now? i don't think i'll be continuing this since it's basically just a fan perspective of what we didn't see, the rest of the season continues normally after this anyways except with more byeler
> 
> i have a [tumblr!!!!](https://netsunii.tumblr.com/) come see my weird mixed interests and art (i'm planning on posting more art) even tho i mostly reblog a lot of stuff instead of posting stuff lol (i'm also a huge disaster there sksksk)


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